Section 5 - Part B:

 Love and Happiness

 Somewhere along the top of the highest range of the Rocky Mountains runs America's principal watershed line. A drop of water or a bit of snow lying on that line may go west into the Pacific Ocean, or it may go east and south into the Gulf of Mexico. A breath of air from the east sends it into the Pacific. A breath of air from the west sends it into the Gulf. 

And so, it is with the determination of the individual sex. Once the sex is determined, the subsequent development is as widely divergent as the courses of two drops of water that part company on the watershed of the Rockies. Although men and women are born of the same flesh and blood, and reared and educated in the same homes and schools, they mentally hold few basic things in common. A normal woman is not merely a female man. Her mentality is different from the mentality of a man. Her hopes, her aims, her ideals are all different. In her reasoning she takes into account many things that man ignores, and ignores many things that he considers important. The male mentality is actively aggressive, expressing itself largely through the processes of reason and deduction, which favour discovery, invention and conquest; while the female mentality is often pacific and conservative, expressing itself largely through the processes of intuition and emotion, which are not always conducive to discovery, invention and conquest. 

There are now, and always have been, women of a masculine turn of mind - women in whom the male phase of the Universal Mind was not completely vanquished by the determination of physical sex - who prefer the work and methods of thought that are normally masculine. No woman ever designed or built an ocean liner or a suspension bridge. Women did not invent the telephone, the cotton-gin, the electric lamp or the aeroplane. Even the sewing machine and the washing machine were invented by man. There has been no female Columbus, nor Shakespeare, nor Milton, nor Michelangelo, nor Edison. There never will be. After a million years of "women's rights" woman will still be woman, and man will still be man. 

Let me hasten to explain that none of this is intended as a harsh criticism of woman. It is merely a plain statement of the obvious fact that woman is something inherently different from man, mentally as well as physically. Man's inherent character is neither better nor worse than the inherent character of woman; it is merely different. Woman possesses just as much intelligence as man; but it is of a different type, and employs itself with different things. In fact, the individual female character and intelligence are just as precisely compensatory of the individual male character and intelligence as is the female phase of the Universal Mind of its male phase. 

The Duality of the Universal Mind 

What the one possesses in greatest abundance the other most sorely needs. The whole of material civilisation is built upon woman's love of home, without which man would be a nomadic savage. Woman's intuition has kept alive all the finer things that go to make up religion, and has saved the race from suicidal materialism and barbarity. Briefly stated, man is exactly a half-expression of the Universal Mind, and woman is exactly the other half. Neither can ever be complete without the other. Nor can there ever be perfect happiness without self- completion. Such is the wonderful law of life and love, through the operation of which the race is slowly but surely evolving towards the perfect type idealised by the Universal Mind as its highest and best individualised self-expression. 

The Universal Mind shows this duality not only in the human race, but in all realms of existence. In the mineral world there are positive protons and negative electrons, uniting to form the different atoms. In the vegetable world the rudiments of sex appear there are male blossoms and female blossoms. In the animal kingdom the division into sexes is clearly apparent, and in the human kingdom it finds its highest and best expression. 

Human relationships between the sexes, however, depend upon something other than opposite sexuality. It is true that there is a general attraction between these opposites, just as there is a general attraction between positive and negative in the mineral world. Yet this general attraction is not love; otherwise every human being would love every other human being of the opposite sex. Nor is it based upon aesthetic preferences. A man does not love the most beautiful woman of his acquaintance merely because of her beauty, nor does a woman love the most handsome man of her acquaintance merely because he is handsome. 

The fact is that "Love is blind", always has been and always will be. "I don't know why I love you, but I do" was the title of a once widely popular song. The song was popular because it expressed the exact sentiment of every man and woman who have ever been in love. Love defies reason; but it no longer defies analysis. At least, we know what it is, if not why. 

Where the Secret of Love Lies 

Every human being is a living magnet, and is charged with nervous energy, which used to be called animal magnetism. The human magnet, like every other magnet, is surrounded by a magnetic field - that is, the magnetic force radiates quite a distance beyond the limits of the body. This radiant force has been dimly understood for thousands of years, and is referred to as the individual's aura. This is where the secret of love lies.

In sexually, normal people -if the aurae - of two people of the same sex happen to be harmonious, they will become close personal friends. If they are of opposite sexes, they will fall in love. On the other hand, if the aurae of two people of the same sex happen to be discordant, they can never be friends, and if brought into close association they will become enemies. If they are of the opposite sex, there will be no love, and if they marry for social or monetary reasons, they will fight like cat and dog. 

Science may at some future time be able to tell people whether or not they are magnetically suited to each other; but even such knowledge could not guarantee permanent bliss, because the magnetic aura changes with the mental habits and attitudes of mind, so that those who are suited at the time of marriage sometimes move away from each other. 

The best guide is real love, which cannot exist without perfect magnetic harmony. Marriage based on simple physical attraction, or on any other consideration than that of genuine love, will turn out disastrously. Little else can be said to young people who are contemplating marriage. The real problem confronts us when we come to consider the teeming millions who are already unhappily married. Shall they get divorces and start all over again? If so, what will happen to the children? 

In the great majority of divorce cases perfect legal causes for divorce are shown and divorces granted. In about 50 per cent. of divorce cases there are children involved, and in every case, divorce means a wrong against the children. In fact, in nearly all cases divorce causes acute problems for everyone connected with it. Divorces are useless, too they might be prevented if only people could be persuaded to understand the laws governing sexuality. 

It is a terrible thing in the lives of young children for their parents to separate and get a divorce. It is a much more terrible thing, however, for children to be brought up in a home where a loving relationship between their parents has disintegrated into a hate relationship. 

How to Solve Marriage Problems 

Therefore, there are three ways open to those who are unhappily married. They can get a divorce or a separation. They can "grin and bear it" for the sake of the children. Or they can mend the original loving relationship so that it will be better than when it was new. The third prerogative is available only to the student of Practical Psychology. 

In the matter of a sexual love relationship, students usually experience two problems. Those who are single want to get married, usually to some particular person. Those who are married want to get unmarried and then get married again - also to some particular person. 

Unmarried students usually find great difficulty in understanding why, if love is based upon magnetic harmony, they can be very much in love with someone who does not seem to return that love. The answer to that problem is this: the moth and the candle have come into contact and the moth is getting singed, while the candle burns steadily on with scarcely a flutter. That is to say, one with a weak or passive temperament has also a weak magnetic field, and love may become a consuming fire when it comes into contact with the stronger magnetic field of one who is of a strong and positive temperament, without the stronger of the two temperaments feeling the slightest emotion of love. Therefore, if you are in love with someone who does not reciprocate your love, you show that you are temperamentally weaker than the one you love. A marriage between such people would be against nature, and would be doomed to disaster. All things being possible to you, you might transform your nature and your magnetic aura. But is it worth the trouble? It is so much easier to give yourself a few suggestions that you will love someone other than the unresponsive person, and then find a lover to whom you are better suited by nature. 

It appears, therefore, that if you are looking for some device with which you can snare the unwilling love of another person, you are often setting a snare for yourself. Some students are inclined to rebel against the principles of Practical Psychology which prevent it from prescribing formulae for bringing them into wedlock with particular individuals. One young lady once peevishly said to me, "You say I can have anything I want, and now you refuse to tell me how to get the man I want above everything else in the world." I replied: "I refuse because you might get the man you want, and then find you didn't want him." In the course of her studies, however, she evolved her own formula and got the man she wanted above everything else in the world." Less than a year later she was seeking a divorce. 

Your Subconscious Mind is the Key 

Those who think they want another person above everything else in the world are in the same situation as those who feel they want money above everything else in the world. The one group wants a certain person because they think that person would bring them the ideal love relationship. The other group wants money because they think it would bring happiness. Therefore, in matters of love, as well as in matters of success and prosperity, Practical Psychology urges upon its students that they idealize, suggest and picture the thing they really want, and leave the details to the Subconscious Mind, which makes no mistake in these matters. The unmarried man or woman should therefore idealise the perfect loving relationship, leaving the Subconscious Mind to supply the right man or woman. 

If you are unmarried and lonely, I suggest this simple but all- sufficient formula. Each night after you have comfortably gone to bed, repeat these exact words at least 20 times: “Day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, I am attracting to myself a perfect love relationship". Then go to sleep hearing your clock say, "I'm more attractive every day - I'm more attractive every day". Let this ticking of the clock suggest to you that you are actually growing more attractive personally, and that you are all the time attracting the love relationship you desire. 

If you prefer to use the wakeful method, you might look through the candle-flame for a visualisation of your ideal man or woman. Or the two methods may be used in conjunction with each other. They are both simple, but they isolate the idea of a gradual attainment of an ideal love relationship, thereby invoking the wonderful wisdom and power of the Subconscious Mind for the establishment of that relationship. 

The unhappily married student presents another and more difficult problem. If there are no children involved, and if the love relationship has actually become a hate relationship, then a separation is the swiftest solution. Even so, I have had a number of students who were separated and both parties came together again and found later that they really loved each other. 

In the great majority of cases, however, there are children involved, and they are entitled to the joint love and care of their parents. Any unhappily married student who is also a parent ought to try the method to be described here long and persistently before resorting to divorce or separation. 

Treat Yourself by Auto-Suggestion

If you no longer love your wife or husband, you should treat yourself by auto-suggestion, framing your formula upon the principles that you have already learned, until you revive at least enough love to arouse a desire for the former relationship. Simply whispering 10 or 15 times each night after going to bed, "I love my wife (or husband) better every day" will do for this purpose. 

The desire for a revival of the former love having been established, the opposite party should be approached in either one or both of two different ways. The best and most direct way is by audible speaking to your partner while your partner is asleep, saying that day by day, in every way, you love that person better and better. The words should be spoken in such a tone of voice as to be clear and distinct, without waking the sleeping person. One's habits of thought and action and one's whole mental outlook may thus be changed. 

The second method of approach is also during the other party's sleep. It is telepathic suggestion. In this method you simply think the words of your formula, over and over again many times, until its central thought becomes fixed or isolated. The direct and audible speaking of the words is preferable to this telepathic method, but sometimes it is not practical. 

Regardless of the method used, its aim is to plant a suggestion in the Subconscious Mind of the estranged spouse while he or she is asleep. The seed thus planted will grow into love the isolated idea will realise itself. The original love relationship may be mended so that it will be better than it was when new, and the helpless little children given the benefit of joint parental love and care. 

When you set out to gain for yourself a happy love relationship, you should always remember that one is loved as one loves. A lot of people go through life disappointed and sour because they cannot have the love relationship they want, even though they themselves have never loved anybody or anything other than in a self-centred and selfish way. Learn to understand people in general, and to love them for their good qualities. Love animals, flowers, birds and trees - in fact, all creation around you. Stop finding fault and begin the practice of praise. Stop snarling and learn to laugh. Let your life overflow with love and with gentle kindness and consideration. In this way you may co-operate in a practical way with your Subconscious Mind, grow immeasurably happier, and quicken the coming of the ideal love relationship.